But Erin! You say. He is too old to be Monster! Where did this kid come from?
I didn't marry Knight until I was 20. I had a steady boyfriend in high school. I knew we weren't going to stay together past graduation, but Knight left the end of my sophomore year, and I had a hard time making friends, my circle was primarily the geeks of the late 80s/ early 90s who were far more concerned with their latest D&D campaign than your average girl. Once you've been dating a significant period of time you have sex right? That's just how things are. (And why now I tell the brats that this is not the case kind of constantly) I ended up pregnant my senior year. The ins and outs of that are a story for another day (or three), not tonight.
Joshua was possibly the most beautiful baby ever. I had nurses dropping by the room saying '-previous shift- said we had to come see the most adorable baby ever'. I heard that a lot the next 2 1/2 years. He had issues nursing, and his urethra was off center, and he ended up jaundiced requiring a heck of a lot of doctor visits and blood draws the first 2 weeks of his life. He cried- oh how he cried- until I broke down and gave him a pacifier. He woke up at 5 am consistently, which to my 18 year old self was a special kind of hell. He was happy and loving as only a small child can be. Musical. My step dad plays piano by ear and Joshua would sit next to him on the piano bench trying to stretch his little fingers wide enough to play cords.
Six months old
He loved our dog, who treated him like he was her puppy. He liked cheerios and chocolate pudding and broccoli, and hated green beans. At 9 months he was diagnosed with stage 5 kidney tumors.
I'm not going into his diagnosis and the ins and outs of his treatment right now. It's, frankly, a long story and birthdays are about life, not death.
I only got Joshua for 2 and not quite one half years.
first birthday
Second birthday
It is hard to believe my little love would be 19 today. What would he be doing? Would he be off to college? What would he have majored in? Which kids would have been his friends, flopping over the couch eating all the snacks in the cupboard while playing video games like Monster's friends? Would he be part of the band a couple local boys started? Would his hair have come back red, or would he be a match for the other three (who have the exact same shade of medium brown)? Hitter is such a typical first born personality, how different would she be if she had an older brother?
Questions with no answers.
Happy birthday Joshua, where ever you are. I miss you.
